This is the post every special needs parents needs to share on their Facebook Wall.
So many people don’t understand how it feels to be running the marathon we are running in, and we don’t get much of a break. We are tired. We ache. Our brains hurt from the hours of research and therapy and arguments and meltdowns. Oh, the meltdowns hurt our brains and our hearts so badly, but despite our own exhaustion, we have to dig down deep and find compassion in an empty well because that’s what our child needs from us.
And world — you would do the same exact thing if you were in our shoes. You’d figure it out like we had to. So instead of judging us, or talking about us behind our back, or saying senseless things like “but he doesn’t LOOK autistic!”, instead, why not offer to buy me a cup of coffee, or come over and help me fold some laundry. Bring me a bottle of wine. Or just give me a hug and acknowledge that you don’t understand, but that you can see that I’m trying, and that’s all that matters.
More than anything, remind me that my efforts, my exhaustion, my tears, my fight, my time, my prayers, and my finances are not going to waste. Tell me, even if you don’t know for sure, that all the love that we are pouring into our children is helping and that, when we finish running the race, our children will be… okay. Because at the end of the day, THAT IS WHAT WE NEED.
Parenting is exhausting. No one ever questions that. You pour yourself into these little beings hoping and praying you are doing everything right for them and watching them grow and change. All the while your heart grows full of love and breaks in their pains and disappointments.
Parenting a special needs child is exhaustive to the point of no return sometimes. Not only do you pour yourself into them, there is often no respite or relief in sight. People get on you last nerves with the “I don’t know how you do it.” or the “I couldn’t do what you do.” Often we are just too tired to respond.
First of all, we can’t compare the parenting. Each child, special needs or not, has their own crucibles they will go through that we are trusted with to help them navigate it. We all want our children to come out of…
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