02:24 AM Thoughts on Pink-Eye and Zombies

02:24 Am Thoughts on Pink-Eye & Zombies

(This post is mostly for fun in a sad, self-deprecating way)

So, I have had pink-eye before. In case you didn’t know this, Pink-Eye is one of the many-not-so-joyous-motherhood-rights-of-passage*: right up there, tied with a “dirty diaper to the baby’s shoulders.*” Yup, pink-eye is some sort of parenting right-of-passage: def top-ten disliked, quite possibly top 3*, it’s tied with getting lice*.

But apparently there are different *types* of pink eye. Up until THIS point, I’ve mostly experienced [apparently] what is known as “lazy [AKA easily treated and limited to your face] pink eye.”*

I thought that was the only type of pink-eye out there.

I was WRONG.

Apparently, there is a super-bug-pink-eye.* This virus, [being a virus, is] immune to antibiotics, and she REALLY takes her job seriously.* She’s like the motorcycle cop of viruses.* She takes down your respiratory tract, your GI tract, AND makes you throw all your eye-make-up away.*

She’s super motivated about her job: as such, she is SUPER motivated about kicking my butt.* She’s that virus that is teaching spin class every weeknight for three HOURS after teaching Jiu-Jutsu **all day.** She’s the virus that always looks good in yoga pants, and is rarely seen without them.*

That’s the pink-eye-virus I contracted.

Not sure I’m gonna make it! Shes’s like Zumba. I might actually die AND look ridiculous while doing so.*

In other news. I have a pretty safe bet as to which virus is going to start the zombie apocalypse.

This one.

Last week, my son contracted this virus. To be honest, I thought maybe he was playing it up a little bit. I mean, it’s just pink-eye, right?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I *might* be writing this from my death bed (Not really!)*.

#scaredtogotosleep #whatwillshedonext #staytuned #formoreEYEopening #breakingnews

Sidenote: “*” denotes the use of sarcasm everywhere in this blog.

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